Most life coaches don't claim to have all the answers. Instead, they're all about asking questions. The most effective life coaches ask the right questions to help clients solve problems and make changes in their own lives.
But what do the "right questions" look like?
When you're trying to facilitate change, the most powerful questions are usually open-ended. They encourage clients to explore new lines of thought and reflect on their beliefs and actions. Ultimately, they guide coaching clients toward self-awareness and personal growth.
Why asking the right questions is fundamental to life coaching
The goal of life coaching is to guide clients through the five stages of change and empower them to transform their lives. It’s not about telling people what to do or how to think — it’s about supporting clients on a journey of personal development to find their own answers.
There's evidence to back up this process. In 2012, research published in the Journal of Systemic Therapies found that asking different questions could influence the viewpoints and behavior of interviewees. And importantly, some types of questioning were more impactful than others.
Life coaches tend to use open-ended questions that encourage clients to reflect on their emotions, values, and aspirations. They also rely on the coaching skills they learned during their training, such as active listening, to help clients feel safe enough to open up.
So when you're choosing a coaching certification school, make sure their program includes training on listening, questioning, and guiding conversations. Learning to ask the right questions will help you support coaching clients to make positive changes.
10 powerful life coaching questions to discuss in coaching sessions
Coaching session lengths and frequencies vary, but according to an industry report from the International Coaching Federation (ICF), many life coaches meet with clients for about an hour per week. That's one hour out of 168 hours in a week.
With that in mind, think about your typical coaching questions. Are they powerful enough to echo in your client's mind for the remaining 167 hours? Will they inspire real action?
Each one of the questions below is the starting point for a bigger conversation. They're designed to deepen the client's self-awareness and help them understand themselves, their thoughts, and their actions better.
There are a lot of different coaching styles out there, so feel free to pick and choose or adapt these questions to fit your unique approach. You might even include some in your client intake form to build a solid foundation for growth.
1. What is the biggest challenge in your current situation, and what would overcoming it look like?
Every coaching journey likely begins with a variation on this simple but profound question: What is the biggest challenge in your current reality, and what would it mean to overcome it?
This question helps clients get specific about what they want to achieve and what's holding them back. It also motivates them with an image of their future, successful selves.
If your client is struggling to answer this question, you might try offering them slightly more structure. For example, you could ask them to make a list of "practical" obstacles (such as a lack of free time) and "personal" obstacles (such as a lack of confidence).
Once clients identify these challenges, guide them in ranking their barriers by urgency or impact. This prioritization helps them focus on meaningful change.
2. If nothing were holding you back, what would you do differently in your life?
Some clients might be overly fixated on obstacles or believe that they're incapable of changing. But when you invite those clients to imagine a life without roadblocks, it can motivate them to think more positively.
If you ask this question in reverse, it can also help you uncover subconscious fears and assumptions. In other words, ask the client what they would do differently, then ask follow-up questions to find out exactly what they believe is holding them back.
For example, let's say you're a health coach who's trying to motivate a client to follow a regular routine. When you ask this question, your client says they picture themselves as a marathon runner.
So you ask a few more follow-up questions to understand what’s keeping them from achieving that goal. You learn that, deep down, they’re afraid that they’ll put in the hard work and training, only to consistently come in last at every race.
And there you go — you have a starting point to build off of. You can use this as an opportunity to help them understand that just by completing a marathon, they are a marathon runner.
Or you might work with them to refine their goal into something more specific and tangible (I want to run a marathon within six hours) and help them develop a realistic plan to achieve it.
3. What is truly important to you, and how do your daily actions reflect that?
Many people fall into habits without thinking about whether their actions align with their values. When you ask this question, you remind clients of what they really care about.
Asking about values and actions can help people who feel disconnected from their daily work or personal lives. Instead of leaving their values in the background, you can encourage clients to build their purpose into everything they do.
For example, someone who feels unfulfilled in their professional life might need to re-evaluate how their current job matches their values. Someone who feels disconnected in their marriage might need a reminder of what they value in committed relationships.
4. When have you felt most fulfilled in your life, and what made that experience meaningful?
Psychological research has found that happiness hinges on a few key aspects of our lives. When our lives feel meaningful, and we feel resilient and focused on our goals, we are more likely to be happy.
But in reality, many people struggle to define what truly fulfills. They might not have a clear idea of what is most important to them, especially if they tend to put others’ needs above their own.
When you ask clients to reflect on a past experience when they felt happy and fulfilled, they can discover what made that situation feel so special. Then you can work together to make positive changes that infuse their life with meaning and genuine fulfillment.
5. What self-limiting beliefs are holding you back, and how can you shift your perspective?
Some of your clients might already be highly self-aware and recognize that they have some beliefs or assumptions that are holding them back. They just need your support to challenge them.
This is a crucial stage of personal development, and you can support clients by asking follow-up questions to help them pinpoint and reframe each limiting belief.
For example, a client who struggles with work-life balance might identify the limiting belief: "I can't be a good parent and grow my career at the same time." You can help them reframe this belief, replacing it with the idea: "I can manage my time so that I'm fully present at work and at home."
6. What small action can you take today to move closer to your set goals?
Making positive life changes can feel overwhelming, especially if your client is overhauling their self-perception and values. It's a lot of change all at once.
Instead of coming up with a big goal or a detailed action plan, start small. Ask them to identify a single action step that they can take in just one day. This makes the big life changes feel achievable, with milestones of success to celebrate along the way.
You might have to overcome some resistance to this approach. If your client has a big goal in mind, they might be impatient with small steps. But these small actions help to build momentum. Over time, they build the client's confidence so that they can take on bigger challenges.
7. How do you typically respond to setbacks, and what could you do differently?
This question encourages clients to look at their goals differently. Instead of thinking about potential roadblocks, you encourage them to think about past problems.
If they've overcome failure before, then they can apply those lessons again. If they've previously given up in the face of adversity, then they can reflect and try something different. Any roadblocks ahead become an opportunity to remind the client of their strengths and self-knowledge.
This approach can be very empowering for clients who want to make positive changes in their lives. It requires self-awareness and bravery, but it can help them break free from negative patterns for good by reminding them that setbacks are just that — setbacks, not permanent defeats.
8. What would your future self tell you about the decision you’re facing today?
It’s a great tactic to break through indecision and uncertainty. By imagining their future self, the client takes on a new, broader perspective. You can encourage them to take a long-term view instead of choosing temporary satisfaction.
Imagine that you are a relationship coach working with a client who can't decide whether to forgive a friend who has hurt them, confront them about their issues, or cut them off altogether. It's hard for them to make a choice in the heat of the moment.
You can give them perspective by asking them to picture their future self. What would that future person say? Which decision has made them happy? This approach can give clients confidence and certainty in their decisions.
9. Who do you need to become to achieve the goals you’ve set for yourself?
Some people set ambitious goals but struggle to follow through. They can dream big, but making internal changes is hard for them. For example, most people can relate to wanting to get more done in their free time — but when they do have free time, it’s hard to work up the motivation and energy.
With this question, you invite clients to see themselves differently. Instead of worrying about how to change, they imagine that they've already achieved their goals. Then they can reflect on what kind of person that would make them.
This can be especially helpful in health and well-being coaching. You might have a client who sets lofty goals for a fitness transformation but gets discouraged when they don't see immediate results.
You can reframe the situation by asking them, "Who would you be if you achieved these goals?" Then, instead of focusing on the target, ask them to act as if they already were that person. Instead of worrying about how much they can lift, they can start working out, sticking to a diet, and developing the growth mindset of a successful gym-goer.
10. What does success truly mean to you?
Success means something different to everyone, and its definition can vary drastically over time and across different areas of your life. But what you’re really trying to get at here are the client’s genuine, personal values — not the external standards and expectations that others have placed on them or that they feel like they should want.
In some cases, your client will find it hard to answer this question. That's when you can step up as a coach to help them identify what matters to them. Ask guiding questions, such as, "If no one ever knew what you accomplished — no praise, no awards, no recognition — what would you still want to do, just for yourself?"
This helps them cut through the societal, family, and career pressures and really focus on what they want to accomplish in their lives.
Common mistakes to avoid when asking life coaching questions
The goal of asking questions is to empower clients and put them in control of their journey. So it’s important to make sure your questions aren’t intentionally holding clients back from discovering their purpose and making positive changes. Remember: The way that you ask questions is just as important as the questions themselves.
Asking leading or judgmental questions
You might have noticed that all the questions in our list are open-ended. That's because they're designed to prompt free thought and self-reflection.
In general, you want to avoid framing questions in a way that implies there is a "correct" answer. People naturally want to be “right,” so if they feel like their answer to your question is going to be wrong, they’ll be unlikely to share their true values and goals with you. They could end up pursuing your idea of success, instead of a life that's meaningful for them.
Rushing through questions without allowing reflection time
When you have limited time with a client, it's tempting to cover as much as possible. But coaching clients need time to reflect and process their emotions before they answer each question.
So be sure to pause after asking a question rather than filling silence with your own thoughts. Silence gives clients space to reflect and process their emotions. While coaching can be a deeply meaningful and transformational experience for you as well, it’s important to remember that a client session is about the client’s needs.
Overloading clients with too many questions at once
Even if you allow plenty of time for reflection, you can still overload clients if you ask too many questions at once. Try to ask just one question, then pause and allow clients to speak for as long as they need to. Let them get their thoughts out and examine them before you ask a follow-up question.
If you find this difficult, you can plan your life coaching sessions in advance. Write down a couple of key questions and stick to them. You can ask brief follow-up questions, but try not to go beyond those main questions.
Not tailoring questions to the client’s unique journey
The questions that we've shared here are useful coaching tools and a great starting point for many situations. But they won't be right for every client. Every single person that you work with has a unique history, values, goals, and coaching relationship with you. You'll need to ask them tailored questions that reflect who they are.
For example, you might start a coaching session with one of the questions above. But the follow-up questions will be based on the client's response. If you have time to move on to another "big question," try to choose one that’s related to the conversation you’re already having.
Use powerful coaching questions to inspire transformation
Life coaching is the art and science of guiding clients toward their goals; results can vary, and depend on client engagement. Unlike counseling, consulting, or mentoring, it's not your job to have all the answers. Your role as a coach is to ask insightful questions that help clients take action in their lives.
The best coaching questions are designed to encourage clients to reflect, explore their assumptions, and gain clarity on their values, challenges, and goals.
But while life coaching helps clients gain clarity and take action, it is not a substitute for mental health treatment. If a client is facing deep emotional distress, trauma, or clinical concerns, they should seek support from a licensed mental health professional.
Asking questions is a skill that anyone can learn. The Jay Shetty Certification School can help you refine your communication skills through modern science, ancient knowledge, and hands-on practical experience. You'll learn all the techniques you need to build a great coaching business and help clients make lasting changes in their lives.
Learn how the Jay Shetty program helps you develop the skills you need to build real connections with your clients.
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