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Hi everyone, I’d like to introduce myself, my name is Chelsea. Here’s a bit of my story: I am the daughter of generations of alcoholics. It’s crazy, the repeating patterns! As a small child, I knew I seemed to make my dad mad. The pattern of his anger was very hard to discern. I didn’t understand why but I am and always was a super curious thing. So, I said to myself, he doesn’t like what I’m doing/saying/feeling, I must not be being clear? He is not seeing me. What is he seeing? So, I tried to understand from his point of view. And communicate and behave in ways that were within his framework. I became highly adept at this. Understanding others, meeting people where they are, and from within their perspective points. This thinking and behavior has caused some problematic relational patterns in my own life which I have and still am working on. After all, I am in process of making myself and my life a fantastic work of art.
This history is also the foundation of my gifts. I wished my family of origin accepted me. I yearned to be understood, heard, seen. And so I put all of my energy into understanding, hearing, seeing others. To do this well, I have learned I must be nonjudgmental, loving, open. I deeply and truly know I don’t have answers. Or your understanding. Your pains and joys. I don’t know your intentions. This means I want to try to understand you. And I accept you, without fear or judgment or anger. Acceptance is very difficult to fake. It must be genuine. And I have learned I can handle and am willing to handle what comes with that acceptance. Even if sometimes it’s quite painful.
The space I wished I had as a child, I have created for the world. To prove it’s possible maybe? I believe in the power of bearing witness. I believe there is no right or wrong. I believe people are good. I believe all there is, is love. And I still choose to love the hardest people. Especially myself. This is my generational gift. And has become my life’s calling. This is what I offer to anyone and everyone I come in contact with.
Coaches are different than therapists. We are future focused. Goal oriented. What is next and how do you get there? If you are stuck or struggling. If you are lost and without direction. Reach out. I will meet you where you are and help you begin to see the path forward to take the next steps.
I have realized through the people who keep coming into my life, I resonate with addicts. The space I hold to hear and see allows them to be. And that is a gift itself. I have since learned through the addicts I have worked with the community is rife with judgment. And I can understand that this is a complex topic with much nuance and there are reasons for hard stances. However, it can serve to make people feel sooo alone. I call these things we feel we can’t share for all the reasons we feel we can’t share them: the unmentionables. And these ‘unmentionables’ separate us from one another. And in this life the most worthy and necessary thing is connection. The opposite of separation. This is what I learned from my own life; to connect. And this is what I try to never do to the people I am in contact with; disconnect. No matter how uncomfortable or hard.
My (now) best friend was drinking when we met. I had no idea until she called me to look after her dog to go to rehab. I barely knew her! Apparently, I had said something to her about the yearning I could feel in her for structure and that I could not be her structure. It set off a chain reaction in her mind. She entered rehab and has now been clean for two years. She credits me for saving her life. First of all, I promise, she’s the one who has made all the decisions and has done all the work. I literally had no idea she was an addict! But I stood by, listened to triumphs and struggles and watched her flourish. It’s been amazing and humbling. And secondly, she saved mine in a way as well. She is such a beautiful, amazing person in my life. And she has helped me to see this potential in myself. To help others by bearing witness to their unmentionables to be seen and begin to see themselves. She was the catalyst to my journey to coaching and identifying my purpose.
To you all, I love you. I know it’s too soon. But I love everyone. You too. Hang in there. Keep breathing. Keep beating. Keep going. And contact me if you need anything. I’ll do my best to be of service. 🥰