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In a single day, I’d rotate through multiple versions of “me” – for my husband, my friends, my clients, my family. I’d lay in bed and my head would spin with thoughts of still feeling isolated & misunderstood–of “missing the mark” yet again. I’d fall asleep with lofty goals of how I would show up even BETTER tomorrow. I’ll do this to feel more connected to my husband. I’ll do this to be a better mom. I’ll do this to show my friends how fun and exciting I am. I’ll do this to look more professional & successful. If I just tried a little harder, I would be enough. I would feel like enough.
Meanwhile, I was hearing a universal message over and over from everyone–even close friends, “Wow, Marli, you seem so happy!”…”You’re doing so well!”…”How do you keep up with it all?” How flattering, right? How motivating! Except for me, it felt humiliating & exhausting. Ever heard of “Imposter Syndrome”? In summary, it means to feel like a fraud, despite your success & accomplishments. Have you ever seen the Wizard of Oz? I was Oz and I was scared to death of someone pulling back the curtain and revealing my deep-rooted feelings of failure & inadequacy… I’d respond with a smile & a polite, “Oh, thank you!” But inside I was thinking, “If you only knew.”
I’m not here to tell you that today I’m completely healed and immune to this way of life. I wish that was the truth. But I am here to tell you that one day, I woke up a little less excited for all my costume changes. One day, I started to feel just a little tinge of spite, of anger. What in the actual hell have I been doing for so many years? Where has all of my energy been spent? Who the hell even am I? I’m exhausted, I’m unhappy, & my costumes don’t seem to fit quite like they used to.
I wanted (and tried) like hell to blame it on everyone but me. My husband has unrealistic expectations; my friends just don’t understand; I haven’t been given the right opportunities in my career; my kids are just “hard”. But deep down, I knew better.
And for quite some time, that little tinge grew and grew. And then…it evolved. That little tinge of anger slowly morphed into a glimpse of bravery, then hope, then strength. I noticed myself telling different stories in my head, questioning my own reasoning & intentions, and sensing a push for change in my heart that I could no longer ignore.
And day by day, I started to make teeny tiny little decisions, baby steps, all towards the direction of change. The direction of me. I started saying “yes” to things that give me energy, “no” to those that don’t, and “f*** you” to the voices that tell me to check-in on what everyone else thinks. And my God, is it freeing. My God, do I feel energized & empowered.
And I want to be real with you. I have days. Days that I feel FAR Helping women of all ages & stages find Joy in Being who they truly are, to break free from the pressure of approval & expectations of others.
Hey there! I’m Marli Sayler, Self-Discovery & Empowerment Coach and Founder of Joy in Being – Coaching & Mentoring Co. I’m happy you’re here & I’m truly grateful to be a part of your growth journey. If the tagline above gives you even the tiniest little feeling in your gut, I invite you to please stick around. I pray that after reading this, you will feel seen, understood, & most importantly, hopeful.
I want to start by sharing a little about my own personal journey & what lead me to pursuing my passion in becoming a resource & support for women in your shoes.I’ve spent a good (or not so good) percentage of my lifetime trying to “fit in”, constantly worrying about saying the right thing, wearing the right clothes, having the right job, raising my children the right way, having the right body, the right house, lifestyle; you name it- I’ve worried about it. I’ve compared, judged, & fixated on fine-tuning the person I thought others wanted me to be, all in an attempt to feel loved & accepted.
Less excited to jump out of bed and show the world all the weird and messy I’ve been cooping up for so long. There are times I catch myself dressing up again for my next act. But I’m growing; I’m trying; and I’m really loving myself more. And damn, that’s worth sharing.
I want you to feel that too.
My mission as a coach is not to fix you. Girl, you don’t need fixin’. Rather, my mission is to help you find a little more happy, a little more grace, and a WHOLE lot more authenticity— Because guess what? That’s the YOU that recognizes you’re worthy and deserving of more. That’s the YOU your friends & family are dying to meet. That’s the YOU I’m positive you’re going to love.
Are you ready to meet her?